So. This work thing, has a little disadvantage. The commute is two hours each way, and there is no public transport from the train station to the office. So it means a £10 cab. Each way. (I don't have a car).
At the moment, I'm catching a ride with the Logistics Director who picks me up 20 minutes away from home at 6:30 am. Which is not too terrible except the ride back is usually at 7:00 pm which means I've been doing 12 hour shifts. If I want to leave earlier, I either need to catch a ride with someone else (I have had no luck so far) or I need to fork up the money for the cab. Plus, it being a two hour trip, means I would get home at the same time than if I just stayed at the office and waited for my ride.
On Friday, the MD of the Company said I should see how it works for me for this month, but that they will probably contemplate making me an offer to stay on permanently. To be very honest, I don't love the job. It's not awful or anything, but it's not as amazing as my last workplace. But it is a job in a recession and it would pay the bills. I should also mention that the money is just ok. Not great.
So what would you do?
Labels: job
First of all, thank you everybody for your comments on Rupert. It's so amazing to realize people out there are actually reading, and have so much useful information about everything. I should have posted a picture of it before repotting it, because then I would have known that the worst possible thing I could do to Rupert was precisely that. I would have also realized the poor thing was completely overwatered, and would have then hopefully saved its roots by only changing the soil and letting it recover.
Unfortunately, I did not know it was a peace lily, and thus did not conduct any kind of useful research before repotting it. It also does not help that it's dead cold now here, and my flat has no heating. Predictaby, I guess, Rupert is, uhm dead? How do I tell if it's dead? The only three leaves it had are now completely brown and srhivelled, and I don't see any new shoots coming through. Should I give it a couple more weeks, or should I just give up and mourn it? Could it be hibernating? If the roots were dead, what would they look like?
I would have loved to save Rupert. It would have been a live reminder of the fact that for the first time in my life not only did I love every single thing about my job, but that I made it happen (yup, a la "The Secret"). It would have been a nice memento to keep from the amazing experience that it was to work for a company that made a difference. Sigh. Sorry Rupert, I hope plant heaven is bug free, full of healthy soil and lots of warm light.
You put your heart into it, doing the most obvious things first like tasting every single product currently on the shelf, and spending an awful lot of time on Google. After a few weeks you start to see the light, you have a path to follow now, things look up and you feel the familiar rush of eagerness and anticipation. You feel sure of this, it will be great! You know what to do! You love your job. You surprise yourself by jumping out of bed in the mornings. This is fun!
You spend a lot of time just waiting, waiting… there is a limbo of meetings, decisions to make and others to do their part. Everything goes surprisingly smoothly for a while, and then it doesn’t. The designer doesn’t get it, the budget is too stretched, manufacturers don’t want to work with you, and the product is more expensive than you thought. You hit rock bottom, and waste precious weeks looking for solutions. There are more meetings -grim ones this time- everybody tries to help, frustration fills the room.
You embrace the frustration as willingly as you embraced the happiness; you remember this is exactly what makes the end taste so delicious, this is what you will look back on and proudly know you have conquered. Phone calls turn bad. Meetings get worse. Timeline is long forgotten. You mourn the loss of your bonus, it was nice to dream about the holiday.
You surprise your boss by feeling optimistic. You have been here before. This is normal. This is nothing! You remember the time when the machine broke during launch, and you had to stay until 3 in the morning holding your heart in your hand. You have definitely had worse. You will get through this!
You find a solution and tread on, it is not as easy anymore, but there is hope. Your job is normal and routine like. Oh well. Such is life.
The project becomes blurry meshing with your other obligations. Everything is subdued and boring now. You are in limbo, in between projects: one unfinished, the other not allowed to start. Motivation is low. Time drags. You hand things over to the sales team. This is no longer your battle to have, and yet you linger debating over how to help out. You never stop loving your job though. It surprises you how utterly happy you feel. You wonder why you never ever thought about giving up and are pleasantly surprised by the answer.
Finally the day arrives: you have a listing, everything will be fine. Relief tastes amazing. The eagerness comes back.
This is the best part.
You secretly savour every second of it. You let the feelings overflow you; you love your job, skip to work, laugh out loud. You sleep again, life returns to normal. On the day of the trial, you pick up the first one coming down the line. Time stops and goes faster at the same time. Your heart races, emotion gushes through your body. It is too strong –overwhelming even- and for the tiniest second you fear losing it in front of the supplier. You obviously don’t, and the moment passes.
It is surreal, fantastic to hold a dream in your hands.
You can’t wait to dream the next one to life.
