I get out of bed at the sound of 'Happy Birthday'. Presents are opened between hugs and jokes, and I don't know if it's the the excitement or the debris of my sister's things strewn around my tiny flat, but it feels just like Christmas.
Later, as I enjoy amazing food with my friends and family, an overwhelming feeling of joy rushes through me. I have this amazing life, this incredible group of friends that miraculously have shown up on short notice, and my family is here with me. I sit there holding back tears, realizing this is what happiness is about: a string of moments passing in a continuous of time.
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I am in the middle of nowhere, letting my sister catch up with a friend while I play with her 9 month old in the other room. We are sitting on the floor, and I am desperately trying to make her laugh doing the most ridiculous high pitched noises. It's early still, just after lunch, and when my phone goes off I assume it's Husband. I'm wrong.
My heart flip flops when I realize it's Workplace's MD. The reception is bad, the baby starts yelling, and he is speaking so softly I can barely make out any words. I stroke the baby's head trying to soothe her, while the colour plummets from my face and I patiently wait to hear the inevitable: I've lost my job.
I hang up feeling dazed and welcome the effort it takes to entertain a small child. Later, I chat and laugh, grateful for the distraction that is being in good company. It's weird to lose your job like this. I feel like we've broken up, like I was not ready to move on but have.
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The train ride back is boring and I sleep until my sister's snores wake us up. We look at each other and crack up, laughing tiny hysterical laughs all the way home. We share all these jokes, old ones and new ones, and life is good. We do our dance. Life goes on. It's still like Christmas.
Later, as I enjoy amazing food with my friends and family, an overwhelming feeling of joy rushes through me. I have this amazing life, this incredible group of friends that miraculously have shown up on short notice, and my family is here with me. I sit there holding back tears, realizing this is what happiness is about: a string of moments passing in a continuous of time.
---------
I am in the middle of nowhere, letting my sister catch up with a friend while I play with her 9 month old in the other room. We are sitting on the floor, and I am desperately trying to make her laugh doing the most ridiculous high pitched noises. It's early still, just after lunch, and when my phone goes off I assume it's Husband. I'm wrong.
My heart flip flops when I realize it's Workplace's MD. The reception is bad, the baby starts yelling, and he is speaking so softly I can barely make out any words. I stroke the baby's head trying to soothe her, while the colour plummets from my face and I patiently wait to hear the inevitable: I've lost my job.
I hang up feeling dazed and welcome the effort it takes to entertain a small child. Later, I chat and laugh, grateful for the distraction that is being in good company. It's weird to lose your job like this. I feel like we've broken up, like I was not ready to move on but have.
------
The train ride back is boring and I sleep until my sister's snores wake us up. We look at each other and crack up, laughing tiny hysterical laughs all the way home. We share all these jokes, old ones and new ones, and life is good. We do our dance. Life goes on. It's still like Christmas.
3 comments:
Beautiful post.
You will survive the lows b/c your highs are so full of blessings.
PS. I like the changes to your blog!
The blog changes are wonderful!
(:-D
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